Speaking of, don’t forget grinding. “Speaking as a bi woman, I can say people of all genders forget that penetration doesn’t just have to be going in and out and pounding away,” says Spencer. “Roll your hips and grind that strap.”

A pump can also improve your overall sexual health. It can increase your confidence and help you get over any sexual anxiety you may have. Plus, it can make your erections more intense! It’s a win-win.

Some other positions that may be useful for those using straps for rectal intercourse are when the partner being penetrated is lying or kneeling on the bed while the penetrator stands from behind. Or, both partners stand up, depending on their height.