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    10 ways that can help you use sex toys without shame

    10 ways that can help you use sex toys without shame

    Takeaway: sex toys can completely change how you feel about your body, your sexuality, yourself and sex in general.

    Maybe you’ve agonized about showing a partner certain parts of your body, or revealing your true desires. Maybe you’ve felt guilty about sexual pleasure. Maybe you’ve worried that what you feel, enjoy or fantasize about just isn’t OK. Maybe you’ve wondered whether you want sex too much ... or not enough. Not just maybe. If you’re like many people, you’ve probably suffered through some degree of sexual shame. If you never have, you are a rare person - and a lucky one.

    Although sexual shame originates from outside of us – from our parents, our friends, our schools, our culture – it feels like something that’s innate within us. In other words, when we feel ashamed about masturbating or having sex or watching porn or being attracted to a particular type of person, we assume that that shame means something about those actions or feelings; we assume that we feel that shame innately because those things are innately bad. Which - when you really take the time to think about the things you are ashamed about and where they come from - is actually complete bullshit. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always make those bad feelings any easier to shake.

    So how can you overcome sexual shame?

     

    Well, there are a few key ways, including therapy, being more open about sex and your sexuality, and even simply analyzing those feelings of shame as they arise, rather than accepting them at face value.

    Oh, and there are sex toys. Now, you may not have thought of sex toys as a way of helping overcome sexual shame. After all, these handy devices carry plenty of their own social and cultural baggage. But for those who are willing to take the leap and give them a try, sex toys can completely change how you feel about your body, your sexuality, yourself and sex in general. Here’s why.

    Play Is a Powerful Thing

    There’s a good reason why we don’t refer to sex toys as “sex tools” or “sex implements.” And the term “adult products,” while not uncommon, is so vague and euphemistic it barely bears mentioning. The word “toy,” however, implies fun, free-spiritedness and exploration. Which is exactly what sex toys are for. Simply shifting your view of your body and sexuality as something to be explored is a potent antidote to a culture that often teaches us that our bodies and their functions should be hidden and suppressed.

    The Better You Know Your Body, the More Respect You’ll Have for It

    Research suggests that female vibrator users are significantly more likely to have gynecological exams and to perform regular breast exams. Because shame can be an intensely painful emotion, we often strive to avoid it. When that shame involves our bodies, it often causes us to neglect them. That may manifest as feeling too embarrassed to ask your doctor about contraception, or having too much contempt for your body to show it to a gynecologist. Using a sex toy can help you get to know your body on a very intimate level. When we are allowed to think about and appreciate our bodies, caring for them properly becomes a lot easier.

    Sex Toys Are Empowering

    When vibrators first hit mainstream America as sexual products in the 1960s and ‘70s, they were seen as part of the movement toward female empowerment. Up to that time, it was assumed that female pleasure was something that came with a male partner. Vibrators and other sex toys helped liberate female orgasm from the confines of a relationship, and made it clear that women could have their own orgasms any time they wanted to. Partnered sex is a beautiful part of life, and sex toys can’t and won't replace our biological need for human contact. When you own your own sexuality and pleasure, you can still choose to share it with other people - you just won’t have to rely on them to give it to you. 

    They Can Create Enough Arousal to Override Inhibition

    Sex toys are purpose-built tools and the good ones are really good at what they’re designed to do. For people whose sexual shame may be blocking their access to pleasure, sex toys can create sensations strong enough to break through and override those inhibitions. Plus, because many sex toys do most of the work for you, you can just lay back, relax and focus on putting yourself in the right frame of mind to embrace those pleasurable sensations.

    Sex Toys Encourage Fantasy

    Sex toys don’t come with an agenda. They are yours to use as you wish, which, for many people, involves a little imagination. And that’s a good thing. Our unique sexual fantasies and desires are part of what make us – and sexuality – so interesting. Your imagination is a great place to begin exploring who you are as a sexual person, what you’re into, and what you might like to try with a real, live partner. If you are never given the opportunity to imagine what you’d like your sex life to look like when you aren’t having sex, you probably won’t have too many ideas when it comes time to have sex. And that can make for a pretty dull sex life.

    They Build Communication – and Closeness - Within Couples

    Sex toys can help widen your sexual repertoire, which can be a really important thing to maintaining a healthy sex life in a long-term relationship. But in the interest of respect for your partner and ensuring their comfort, it’s best to avoid suddenly emerging from under the sheets waving a dildo. Many people – particularly those who don’t have experience with sex toys – don’t respond well to that. That means you’ll probably have to talk about trying a sex toy beforehand, and explain what sorts of toys you might be interested in, and what you’d like to do with them. That’s called sexual communication, and it is as important for your sex life as it is for your relationship as a whole. 

    Sex Toys Help You Explore All that Your Body Is Capable Of

    Body shame isn’t necessarily the same as sexual shame, but they’re all wrapped up together. After all, if you’re worried about your body and how your partner might perceive it, it’s really hard to have a great time. We live in a culture that’s very focused on looks, but by exploring your body with sex toys, you can shift your focus away from how your body looks to something more important: how it feels. By making your body feel good, sex toys can also help you feel good about your body. Neat, huh?

    Play Gives You the Knowledge (and Confidence) to Ask for What You Want

    Perhaps you’ve read the advice that in order to have the sex you want, you have to be able to ask for it. The problem with this for many people, however, is that they just don’t know what they want. And if you don’t know what makes you feel great, how can you expect your partner to guess? Cluelessness isn’t recipe for a satisfying sex life. By encouraging experimentation, sex toys can help you discover what turns you on. Once you understand that, you’ll be able to guide your partners and help them learn how to please you. 

    Sex Toys Improve Sexual Function

    There’s an old myth about sex toys, particularly vibrators, that suggests that using them will decrease your ability to enjoy partnered sex. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Regular masturbation and use of sex toys has been shown to increase sexual function, lubrication, arousal and orgasm during sex. As it turns out, sexual function is a lot like a muscle – the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.

    They’re the Ultimate Act of Self Love

    When you love yourself, you look after your physical and emotional well-being. Sex with yourself is the ultimate act of self love. You deserve pleasure and connection. By helping you discover the first, sex toys can also lead you to the second.

     

    Source: www.kinkly.com

    How to ride a suction cup dildo?

    How to ride a suction cup dildo?

     Suction cup dildos would be a great choice to release your hands in some ways. As well, it can both works on the vagina and anal. Indeed, considered the health situation, I am not suggesting you use one for two places. When choosing a dildo, it is very clearly there are several factors before you, size, material, shapes, budget, and then done, you finished the purchase. However, when the suction cup dildos in your hands, to find a right position to ride would be a real challenge, especially you are a newbie and never have the experience of riding the dildos.

    Here would like to introduce some idea of riding a suction cup dildo, hope this can help you. Actually, when you stick a suction cup dildo on a flat vertical surface, there just are two options for you to choose, you face the dildo, or your ass faces the dildo. Actually, each approach has its own pros and cons. For someone who really likes to stimulate the G-spot, face the dildo that would be a good choice, but be sure the dildo is really long and has an extreme upward curve to reach your G-spot.

    Where did you choose to stick the suction cup dildos?

    I believe everyone has their own ways and experience, tables, chairs, walls, toilet seat, etc. I don’t judge which one is good or not, just want to share where you can to stick it for getting maximum pleasure.

    Stick to a protruding wall, that would be exciting if there is a protruding wall in your house. The protruding wall can allow you bend your knees to really thrust, without making you arch your shoulders back. Of course, you should get a solid dildo.

    Stick it on the shower wall. Riding a dildo in the shower room would feeling good actually. You feel safe and this feeling would add the pleasure of dildo play. When you try to use a dildo on the shower wall, you’ll have to thrust your pelvis forward for any angle you want to reach.

    Stick on the toilet seat. You can try facing the dildo and ass-face-the-dildo both position very well. Because the seat does not move and can give the support to do penetrate. But the disadvantage is your toilet seat is not higher enough and it is not easy for you to explore kinds of angles when riding it.

    Why You Need to Try Prostate Massage?

    Why You Need to Try Prostate Massage?

    Is prostate massage benefit for your health? Obviously, it is since prostate massage is an assistant that can fight in preventing prostate cancer. As well, prostate massage is a way for making you reach the incredible orgasms.

    Where is Your Prostate?

    The prostate is just in front of the rectum and located inside between the bladder and the penis, it is a walnut-sized gland. Check the picture of the prostate, you would find the urethra runs through the center of the prostate. The prostate will produce seminal fluid during ejaculation.

    Why Do You Need to Try Prostate Massage?

    Prostate massage can allow you reach prostate orgasms, that is awesome feeling when your prostate receive a stimulation. The semen will flow out when you get a prostate orgasm. The UTIMI ADAM 10-MODE ANAL PLUG is the perfect design for prostate massage.

    Prostatitis, enlarged prostate, prostate cancer, which are three factors we need to take prostate massage into consideration. Regularly massage or milk your prostate once per month can lower the rate of prostate cancer almost 30%. Have more sex, like 2 or more orgasms in a month, which will increases lymphocytes and help boost immunity. You can incorporate prostate massage into your masturbation to keep your prostate health, various of great prostate massage tools on the market also would make great sexual aids. The last thing you should take in mind is to get regular prostate exams.

    How to Massage the Prostate?

    1. Clear your anal before a prostate massage, an enema would be a great aid. You also don’t want to make a mess when prostate massage.
    2. Do some foreplay to relax and make your finger easy to penetrate.
    3. Silicone Lube 

    How to use a vibrator for maximum pleasure?

    How to use a vibrator for maximum pleasure?

    Most of the people think there is no need to read an instruction manual before use the vibrator, I believe we all do that thing before. But for those newbies, I would like to say you’d better read some tips of the vibrator, which can help you to get the maximum pleasure from vibrator.

    Get to know your vibrator

    People always busy with many things and forget to check their vibrator’s condition when they received the package, and then use it without detailed check. I am not judging this behave, actually, I also did like this way before, but I saw some people hurt from this careless behave. When you get the vibrator in your hand, you’d better make sure there is no sharp edges or seams would hurt you, make sure the body of the vibrator looks and feels good (since we are not professional people, we just use sense to see whether good or not). If there are any defect and strange smell happens, return your vibrator before you use it.

    Every vibrator has different features, rotating heads or something designed with beads, so take your time to try out every buttons and switch to find out how many speed and settings it has.

    Start slowly

    When newbie holds the vibrator, they usually jump to the main event---directly use it to stimulate their vulva and clitoris. That’s very direct way to use the vibrator, actually, you can start the vibrator by touching your neck and breast, moreover to explore every inch of your body’s sensitive point for getting nicely warmed up. Try to stimulate your clitoris to get yourself wet, then it would become easier to penetrate it when the time feels right.

    Enjoy with speed and modes

    Search on the internet, you would find out most vibrators has multiple speed, 7-speed settings or 10-speed settings are very common; diverse vibration modes, except to the basic vibrate modes, there also is a pulse, wave, echo....

    For those different settings, always start on a low speed and let your body familiar with the feeling of vibrating, and then try different speed and modes to know what speed or modes is you really want. You may find that in some areas a lower speed is all you need, and on others, stronger is better. Think of yourself as an explorer and use the vibrator to know your body. Sometimes you need to add some pressure when you hold your vibrator, which all depends on your feeling at that time.

    Enjoy with G-spot

    Except for external stimulation, you need to try penetration. Actually, in women vagina, there exists an amazing G-spot, there also are many vibrators in the market, which designed for stimulating G-spot. Using the vibrator to explore your vagina and the g-spot, pressing the vibrator against the top of the vagina may provide the amazing G-spot stimulation. Even though the sex toy manufacturer always declare their product is made by safe material, I would like to say put the condom over a vibrator when inserting a vibrator in the vagina, which never a bad idea.

    How to choose your first butt plug?

    How to choose your first butt plug?

    Literally speaking, the butt plug is an object that can plug one’s butt for the sensation of stimulating fullness that it provides. Nothing can compare to the way it feels to have this plug inserted just far enough into your back anal. You may feel uncomfortable during the first use, but after you tried, you will understand why the erections that come from this feeling have been described as some of the most intense that has ever been experienced by the men who have had them. The direct reason people to wear a butt plug is for reaching direct and constant prostate stimulation.

    There are kinds of butt plug on the market, various of material, shapes, and sizes, actually, it is hard for beginners to figure out what butt plug should to choose. But the most important principle to choose butt plug that is it will not cause damage to the delicate lining of the anal, and it should have very smooth edges to avoid any scratched to the anal canal.

    When selecting your first butt plug, you should pay more attention to its size. The small size would be the best start. If the smaller size starts to seem too small after using it for a while, then it is time for you to upgrade to something a bit larger. Just be sure that you don’t go too large because, then, it will become too uncomfortable for you. Also, a butt plug with a large base is wise to choose to help prevent the toy falling inside the body and preventing an embarrassing visit to the hospital.

    Besides, when you are purchasing your first butt plug you’d better know the material that it is made from. I know some toys are made of glass but I don’t recommend them due to the potential issues if the materials were to be chipped or damaged. Also, some people are allergic to latex or rubber, knowing the material of butt plug would be good to avoid these problems.

    Lube and butt plug

    Lube would help a lot when wearing a butt plug, but different materials require different lubricants. Water-based lubes are considered as the top recommend lubes because it does not react with any of the materials anal toy, but if you are planning on wearing a butt plug for a longer period of time, some of the water from the lube can be absorbed making it a little more difficult to remove the butt plug later, hence you’d better go with a non-water based lube for long time wear.

    Generally speaking, silicone lube cannot be used with silicone toys, and oil based lubes can’t be used with latex or rubber toys, all lubes can be used with metal, vinyl and plastic toys. But oil-based lubes can destroy condoms, hence when you are planning to have sex with condoms, you’d better choose either water or silicone based lube.